


behind the beskar

by ellfie



Series: how to raise a small green baby [3]
Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Baby Sign Language, Demisexual Din Djarin, F/M, Gen, ad'ika stop eating lizards, bonding over sexual preference or lack thereof, demi dyn, discussion of demisexuality, mentions of xi'an being a bitch, rated for mentions of past non-con, someone give this man a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:08:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellfie/pseuds/ellfie
Summary: Dyn cleared his throat, decided to offer up the same vulnerability she had, hoping it wasn’t the wrong thing to say, worried it would be too crass. He eyed the child, still distracted, and pressed his thumb into the earth beneath him to remind him it was there. “I’ve… only… uh, masturbated, four times. In my life.”.x.Dyn and Naria discuss sex, and the precious green bean learns a new sign and threatens the existence of local fauna, again.
Series: how to raise a small green baby [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568566
Comments: 6
Kudos: 139





	behind the beskar

**Author's Note:**

> I would've liked to have this after a little more naria/dyn bonding, but this scene and discussion was on my mind, so here we go. Set after Lost (and Found) and Wiggling Fingers. I would recommend you read those first but it's not totally necessary. As of posting, this is 3rd in the series, but as I keep working on the series it may be moved later. Also, the mentions of Xi'an refer to my fic "nothing" which also fits into this universe in terms Xi'an being his first sexual encounter and it not really going well for him.
> 
> Also, I'm learning lots of fun signs for this. Disclaimer that I am not HoH and I only know very basic and mostly kid-centric ASL. Feel free to comment or find me on my tumblr @shesgoneoffroad if you wanna hear more about my ace/demi dyn thoughts.
> 
> Also keep in mind while I'm headcanoning them as both demisexual, the intention is to have some smut in this series after some build up.

.x.

The child splashed in the small, shallow creek that cut through some farm land, a copse of trees on either side. It was quiet here, peaceful, close enough to town to make a hasty retreat if need be, but far enough to be away from prying eyes. And it was nice, Dyn thought, to see the child enjoying himself in an environment so different from the desert they were both used to by now. The child seemed thrilled by the cool water and the little minnows swimming around him, fortunately too fast to catch -- not for lack of trying. Naria had already warned Dyn about  crawdads that might pinch the child if caught, and the vague threat of snakes that set Dyn’s teeth on edge but earned an eye roll from the woman.

“I’ve come here for years, and only ever saw a snake twice. One time it left me alone entirely, and the other time we scared each other and it swam away.” She explained, which still didn’t stop his worries. “Just stay away from the banks and don’t let him start looking under big rocks or tree trunks and it’ll be fine. Knowing him, he’ll just catch it and eat it, anyway.”   
  
Which, well… she wasn’t wrong.

Naria, with one eye on the kid in that way he’d learned she could somehow always do, was flipping over little pebbles at the creek’s edge, where water lapped at the land. Dyn sat with one leg propped up a little away on the grass, close enough to reach the child in three steps if need be, but far enough to give him some space, which Naria assured him the child needed.   
  
“Ah!”

Dyn jerked to his feet, hand going to his blaster, already looking for danger after Naria’s outburst. “What!?”   
  
“I got one!” She shouted, sounding like a gleeful child as she ran over to the kid, hands cupping something. Dyn gave one more glance around before slowly holstering his blaster and moving forwards as well. She squatted down and held her hands out, immediately pulling the child’s attention, his big green ears twitching and head cocking to the side, one hand set on Naria’s to pull it closer so he could see. She opened her hands and Dyn couldn’t quite see what it was, but it immediately made the baby giggle and perk up. Naria laughed as well, her hands moving quick as if to stop something from getting away, and she pulled her hands back when the child reached for it as well. “Ah-ah! We’re not eating this one!”

“What is it?” Dyn stopped next to them, cocking his head as he looked down at them. The child smiled up at him and wiggled his fingers, so Dyn let out a sigh and squatted down with them.

“It’s a newt!” Naria said, grinning wide and holding her wet palms out towards him. He leaned closer and saw a small, dark, squirming little thing trying to tuck itself into the crease of her fingers. “They’re hard to find, and harder to catch. Fast and slippery little buggers.”

The child pulled her hand down again to look, tried to poke it but it was too fast. Dyn was just happy he wasn’t putting it in his mouth. Then the child looked up at Naria and spun his fingers together. Naria blinked, while Dyn looked back and forth between them. “Uh,” she started, lips flattening into a line and brows furrowed in what Dyn had learned was her thinking face, often accompanied with a dimple that was definitely not adorable, and then she suddenly looked at him and thrust her hands out to his. “Here.”   
  


“What?” Dyn fumbled, managed to get the newt in his gloved hands and stared down at it squirming around. “Why--”

But Naria was looking at the child, and her palms were facing up as she pinched her fingers together and drew both hands down, then made and L shape with the other which she then zig-zagged away from her in a motion very similar to the squirming of the newt. The child’s eyes were fixed on the hand motions, and she repeated them a few times. “Newt. Wet lizard, really. Wet. Lizard. See?”

The child’s expression was intense, almost like it was using it’s strange abilities, except his eyes were open. He held a focus and intensity at odds with his otherwise cute, unassuming appearance, which he supposed made sense since the child was actually older than him and Naria both. He mimicked the sign to the best of his ability, and his smile grew when Naria’s did. “Great!”

The child suddenly turned to him, and Dyn was having a hard time managing that and the newt at the same time. The child pulled his little claws towards himself in a slow, deliberate motion, then made the sign Naria had showed him for newt, and Dyn just… stared. The child quickly added a motion as if rubbing his chest. Naria laughed and clapped. “Well? Give the boy the newt, he asked so politely.”

This kid. This incredible kid he sacrificed his entire life for over and over again was constantly amazing him. “You want the newt?” The child lit up, always thrilled to be understood now that Naria was steadily teaching him ways to communicate, and… well… he couldn’t say no to that. He carefully managed to extract the newt from his glove and plop it into the child’s little palm.

Naria and Dyn watched with soft smiles as the child stared at it, cooing gently, turning his hand and fingers over to watch it scurry and wriggle over them.

Then he put it in his mouth.

“No!”

.x.

Later, Naria sat next to him, wringing out the edge of her skirt that got damp with no real concern for it while they both watched the child stack rocks, steadily making what looked like a little dam.

“How long,” Dyn suddenly started, finally voicing thoughts that had been steadily growing the longer he stayed here in Taeda. He cleared his throat when Naria looked at him. “How long have you been taking care of kids?”   
  
Naria frowned, looked back to the child, and shrugged. “All my life, I guess. I liked helping my friend’s younger siblings… would help neighbors kids… just kept working with them in some capacity my entire life. I liked it, am told I’m good at it, and people always need help, whether it’s to teach them or just watch them for a few hours. And I have the experience and certifications that young babysitters don’t, so parents prefer to hire me. I mean, half the time I have more experience with kids than the parents themselves do.”   
  
“So, why don’t you have your own?”   
  
Naria’s shoulders slumped, and she let out a sigh, and Dyn wanted to kick himself.

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer--”   
  
“No, no, it’s fine, it’s just…” she took another breath, but her distress was still clear in her body language, the way she sat more curled in on herself, fiddled with her skirt, rubbed her hand over her stomach. “It’s not for lack of trying. But I never feel like I could give a baby a good life if I do it on my own. Which is the only way it looks like it will happen.”   
  
He already stuck his foot in his mouth, and the kid was completely occupied, and there was still so much that he didn’t know about the woman who opened her home for them both, so... he continued with his questions. “What do you mean?”   
  
Naria let out another breath, closed her eyes. “I want a baby. I want  _ my own _ baby. I know that’s -- I know it’s important to care for those who don’t have anyone else to care for -- like you’re doing,” she suddenly looked at him, a fond smile on her face even with the regret in her eyes. “You’re doing so well. You may not have the average life, but you work harder and sacrifice more for your child than anyone else I’ve ever met -- and I’ve met a lot of parents.”   
  
Dyn swallowed and had to look away. He knew the compliment was honest, she wouldn’t make such a comparison lightly. Still… it didn’t mean he felt it. He knew he did his damnedest for this kid, but it never felt like it was enough.

Naria laughed as if reading his thoughts. “Any parent who feels like they’re doing everything right,” she paused, glanced at the kid, then scooted closer to say more under her breath, “Are  _ shitty _ parents.”

Dyn couldn’t help the huff of laughter at that. She smiled at him, bright and proud, and it made something ache in his chest, to have this quiet approval, to be reassured he wasn’t ruining this child’s life. Her fingertips touched the backs of his fingers, pressing gently against the worn leather keeping their skin apart, and Dyn stared for a long moment, silent, all sound caught in his throat and muscles taught until she pulled her hand back to her side. By the time he looked up at her face, she was looking back at the child, biting her lip, a little flush high on her cheeks. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Naria looked down, picked at her dress. “I can’t seem to get relationships right. I’ve only ever had a few, and they all just… left when I… didn’t climb into bed with them soon enough.” Her cheeks got redder, and Dyn’s own face felt hot, but she wasn’t looking at him and no one could see him beneath the helmet anyway. “I know there were other factors,” she said quickly, “But I -- I can’t -- when I’m up front about it, it’s worse. And it just seems… pointless. People expect certain things, and I just… can’t guarantee I can give that to them so… they either give up or I waffle for too long and end up driving them off. And the older I get, the weirder I feel. The more… the more  _ wrong _ I feel, because it should have started now, right? I’m a full grown woman, I should  _ want _ to sleep with people, everyone else does, everyone else will go out and sleep with someone they just met, or have been having sex since they were practically kids, and I just… don’t… get it?”   
  
Dyn’s heart pounded. He knew the expectations most male and female humanoids had, the chasing of physical pleasure. It was not forbidden for his kind, and it was not broadcast, but it was still understood and expected. The rampant lust creatures faced became more clear to him when he left the conclave, when he entered the world proper as an adult and not a scared child, when he was invited to the Twi’lek healing baths before he knew what he was getting into. And he saw the same as Naria -- physical pleasure was a driving force in practically every planet, every town, every species. It was the source of fights, of political failings. It was expected and understood, and he was a hot blooded male beneath the armor, everyone knew that much, so even being a Mandalorian the expectations of his  _ desires _ remained.

Desires of which Dyn did not have.

Dyn stared hard at the child, making sure it was clear he wasn’t listening to their conversation, and spoke lowly, awkwardly. This was not a topic he would be having… ever, really. But his heart pounded hearing someone speak out the same confusion he’d felt. “You don’t like sex?”

Naria’s shoulders hunched even more, and she tugged her knees up to wrap her arms around. She was usually so warm and open, or fiercely protective, it was strange to see this vulnerability. “I don’t know,” she admitted softly. “I can be attracted to people… I can appreciate people who are attractive… but I guess I just… don’t have the same drive everyone else does? When I’m with someone long enough, once I know them, and am comfortable with them… then I get… interested?” She shrugged again, only ended up getting even smaller with it. “But by then, I guess they figured they’ve wasted enough time on me, so they leave. And I’m just… back at square one… with even  _ less _ desire now, since they walked off with it.”

She rubbed at her face, and her shoulders shook, and Dyn wished he hadn’t asked. This was far too personal. What had he’d been thinking?    
  
“I’ve always wanted to be a mom,” she whispered. “Always. I wanted that stupid, cliche ending, of a nice warm house and a partner to take care of us while I took care of the kids. And I can’t get that because I can’t immediately want to fuck someone and nobody gives a damn.”   
  
He didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t think apologizing would help, and so for a long moment he remained stuck in silence as Naria sniffed softly and rubbed at her eyes, quietly pulling herself together. Dyn hadn’t always wanted to be a father, wasn’t opposed to it -- having the same compassion and care shown to him by the Mandalorians and giving it to another child in need -- hadn’t expected to suddenly be one, but here he was.   
  
He cleared his throat, decided to offer up the same vulnerability she had, hoping it wasn’t the wrong thing to say, worried it would be too crass. He eyed the child, still distracted, and pressed his thumb into the earth beneath him to remind him it was there. “I’ve… only… uh, masturbated, four times. In my life.”   
  
He saw her head whip up, but he couldn’t bare to turn his gaze to her completely, feeling foolish, and he’s grateful for his helmet once again for concealing the warmth flooding his face. He cleared his throat again. “I was already an adult when I realized most did so weekly, if not daily.”   
  
He heard something hitch in her breathing and he turned, worried, but she was just smiling and rubbing her face, breathing a little laugh. “I’ve never masturbated in my life,” she whispered, “Never saw the appeal. I --” she laughed again, shaking her head, and Dyn imagined she was probably thinking the same thing as he -- he’d never expected to have this conversation with anyone, let alone who they were with now. “I tried a few times, but it just felt--”   
  
“Weird?” Dyn breathed, and Naria smiled and nodded, another soft laugh escaping.   
  
“Not bad, but like I’d be just as happy curled up in my blankets reading a book.” She scooted closer, right next to him, their bodies brushing here and there, and she shot a glance to the child who was carefully stacking a fifth rock atop another, and then lowered her voice even more. “Have you ever… you know. Had sex?”   
  
Dyn went quiet. Memories of Xi’an’s sharp smile, her breasts hanging out of her vest, her body pressed against his, and even now the memories make him uncomfortable. “Once,” he admitted, and she must be able to hear his frown, the catch in his throat, because she touched his hand, curled her fingers over his. He let out a breath and continued, wanting to return the trust and way she opened herself up for him. “I thought I wanted it. Part of me did. But she… she didn’t care if I was enjoying it. When I tried… to slow down, she just… didn’t stop.”   
  
He looked down, feeling her squeeze his hand, noted the heartbroken look on her face close to his helmet. She moved a little closer, slowly, watching him, and when he doesn’t stop her she leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, tucked her face into his shoulder. A shaky breath escaped him, and he cataloged the weight of her against him, the gentle embrace, the warmth he imagined he can feel seeping between his beskar. When was the last time someone held him like this?   
  
He slowly wrapped an arm around her shoulders in turn, feeling strange but  _ good _ , and tucked his head down against her.   
  
He looked up when he felt a tap at his leg, and the child is there, eyes big, head tilted as he considers them. Naria laughed and moved a little away. A chuckle fell from Dyn’s lips as well as the child made grabby hands for him. “All right, come here, ad’ika.” He drew the child into his lap, smiling at the happy cooing, and for once he doesn’t need the encouragement of the kid’s hands reaching for Naria as well -- he pulled her back into the embrace, smiling as she let out a little surprised breath but immediately cuddled into his hold, her other arm wrapping around the child.   
  
Dyn never expected this, any of this. Not the woman in his arms, and not the child cradled between them, and certainly not the way both made him feel warm and whole for the first time in a long time. He would forever be grateful to the Mandalorians for taking him in when he had nothing and no one, for bringing him into their home, their traditions, their Way. But the Mandalorians as a people… were not particularly warm. Not the way Naria was, opening herself up for him, taking care of the child, giving him untempered smiles for all to see. And his people were certainly not trusting the way the child was, ready and willing to put his life into Dyn’s hands, to reach for him as a source of comfort, like he was more than the beskar coating him and blaster at his hip.   
  
Naria relaxed against him, the child cooed as she cupped the back of his head and relaxed with her against his beskar, his little claw placed over Dyn’s  _ kar’ta beskar, _ the diamond shaped at the center of his cuirass, the heart of his people.   
  
His life had been forever changed since taking in this child, and the first several days on Taeda were filled with pain and fear and uncertainty, and yet here… now…   
  
He didn’t regret anything.

.x.


End file.
